As the title says, its been a while since I’ve written anything down. A lot has gone on since my last post. First and foremost, my brother finally left for the Navy, finally. The kids and I dropped him off at the motel he had to be at a few days before Valentines Day. The kids don’t seem to be to upset about the change, a good thing. And while I miss him for the once in a while that I would need him, I am super happy not to have an extra person around my house anymore. Boogs has commented on how I have to do all the housework again, but I don’t really mind picking it all back up, in fact I really hated the way my brother did the chores, but that is a whole story in its self. My brother hasn’t really written me much, but that was to be expected as we aren’t close anyway.
Valentines Day came and went. I made a big fat dinner for Daddy and me. There was Beef Fillet Mignon topped with a Puff Pastry Lattice and Sauce Robert, a Composed Spring Mix Salad with a Black Truffle Parmesan dressing, Comte Potato Gratin, and Chocolate Mousse for dessert. It was all very delicious and there was enough mousse that it lasted a week, even after I gave Deezy a huge helping for him and his woman.
Some fun RedditGifts exchanges have also come and gone.I’m actually in on a few at the moment. I don’t know why but I really enjoy buying gifts for random people, even if it’s over the interwebs. Lol.
March is already here and I finally started pole classes! Unfortunately I can only go on Saturdays, but I have managed to get in every Saturday for 2 classes, back to back, since I signed up. And I am so pumped! I really love the classes, bruises and all. And make no mistake, I get more than my share of bruises, but its going to be worth it in the end, I’ve just got to find the motivation to get my ass in gear. I also suspect a good amount of the bruises I end up with are due to my not being strong enough for some things yet. I don’t fret over it though, because I’ll get there.
Papi’s birthday has already passed. The kiddos and I called him and wished him a happy bday. They want to make cards for him too, need to get on that, but snail mail tends to slip through the cracks.. He and I had a pretty good conversation too, and that was really nice. Especially considering how awkward the last few chats we’ve had since Mammer died have been. So maybe that means he’s passed the worst of his grieving, and we’ll be able to talk and be close again. We’ll see, I try my best not to set my expectations, in all things, too high. So that way I don’t end up getting upset when they aren’t met, because they were too high in the first place.
Lately I have had been up and down. I am working on it, but its a constant struggle and I just have to take things one day at a time. Some days are a lot better for me than others. And on the particularly bad days, I try my best to remind myself how much of a liar, that asshole in the corner, Depression, really is. But even though I know that, it can still be a struggle to pull myself together. Some days I can’t get anything outside of the bare minimum taken care of. That pretty much means that I don’t get anything outside of my daily routine done. And those are the days that really, really suck. I’m convinced I just need to find something to motivate me, something to be passionate about. Hopefully the pole classes can be that for me, I know I’d like them to be.
The kiddos are long asleep, so now I am waiting for Daddy to get home. While I wait I am going to go play some Borderlands 2. Cheers!